When it comes to family, it’s not the “big things,” the special occasions that count the most. It’s the countless “little things,” the things we do each day, most times without any formal recognition. Those “little things” are the ways we show love and clearly demonstrate to our family members, that yes, you’re understood, yes, your feelings matter, and yes, I want you to be happy.
Here is a list of 10 family traditions and celebrations to show love to those in your family.
1. Pack a note in your child’s lunch box. I learned this one from my mom. Though my son is now a 6th grader, he thankfully hasn’t outgrown his appreciation of my daily notes. Sometimes, they include a little sketch. Sometimes, a joke or riddle. Sometimes, a line from a favorite movie. And sometimes, it’s just a simple, “Happy Friday. I love you lots and lots!”
2. Celebrate each month. My husband and I were married on the 14th. But we don’t limit ourselves to one celebration each year. Instead, we acknowledge the 14th of each month with a card. Every once in a while, we find we’ve accidentally purchased the same card for each other. And, after 20 years of marriage, we each have boxes in the closet with our monthly cards.
3. Celebrate each week. Our son was born on a Sunday night. Now, every Sunday is “Son Day.” That’s the day our son earns his allowance as well as four quarters which are deposited into his piggy bank. (Every few months, I empty the piggy bank and deposit the coins he’s accumulated into his bank savings account.)
4. Let your child control the remote. We have one night a week when we eat dinner on the couch, in front of the television. And on that one night, my son decides what we watch. Over the years, we’ve watched movies, basketball games, episodes of Curious George. What we watch isn’t nearly as important as the ritual of us sitting, watching, and eating together.
5. Leave a note when it’s not expected. I’ve left a note in my husband’s car. Tucked into his socks. Scribbled on the bathroom mirror while he’s showering. Nothing long and elaborate—sometimes, just a quick “I love you,” but it’s enough of a pause to stop the daily routine and let him know I’m thinking of him.
6. Share a photo from the past. My husband will often send me a text message with a photo from our past. A wedding photo. An early date night. An outing when our son was still in his stroller. It’s a sweet way to recognize our past and just how far we’ve come while also acknowledging our present and all we have to be grateful for.
7. Establish a “touching” nighttime routine. After we’ve read, but before we turn the lights off, my son likes to have his arms and legs rubbed and lightly scratched. When my husband and I are in bed, reading before we turn our lights out, he enjoys having his back scratched. I like to have my hair brushed. These physical moments are calming and soothing and a nice way to end our day.
8. “Just because” desserts. We don’t believe in only serving cake or cookies on birthdays. Periodically, my son and I will bake a cake “just because,” as a special treat for when my husband arrives home from work. It’s a nice reminder that each day is worthy of celebration.
9. Bring home little surprises. Sometimes, I return from an errand (a trip to CVS to pick up a prescription, a visit to Walgreens to pick up our photos) with a small treat for my son and/or husband. Nothing big—a favorite granola bar or a bag of Starbursts. My husband will sometimes come home with a cookie I adore from a restaurant near his workplace. It’s not the cost or the item that matters. It’s the message—I was thinking about you. I wanted to give you another reason to smile.
10. Use a private language. My son and I have a little wave we do at school as he climbs the steps into the building. My husband and I have a little code we text to each other. It’s a way of carving out a bit of privacy and intimacy within the busyness of a regular day.
Family lives are busy. There is always something that needs to be done, a seemingly endless to-do list. And sometimes, it can be much too easy to forget to stop and acknowledge the most important people in our lives—our family members. Practicing these simple traditions makes it easier to make them feel loved.
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