Dear new mama,
Welcome! You’re now a lifetime member of an amazing club — motherhood. When you feel alone, remember that there are many women who have had the same challenges as you.
As a new mom, you probably have so many thoughts running through your head:
Is breastfeeding or bottle feeding best?
When should my little one start solid foods?
Is my child hitting her milestones?
It’s a lot. And sometimes, being responsible for a tiny human feels like too much.
On top of it all, your body is still healing. You’re sore from delivery, wiped out from feeding your baby at all hours. You wonder how women like Meghan Markle look flawless (in heels, no less!) after birth. But don’t forget — she’s healing, just as you are. And that healing doesn’t have a timeframe. Every mom is different but equally amazing.
Beyond your body needing to heal, you may be on a rollercoaster ride of emotions after delivery. And it’s easy to feel alone when you think you should be happy after having a baby.
But as a doula, I’m here to tell you: so many moms struggle postpartum. Worried about your child? Feeling sad, overwhelmed, or anxious? You’re not alone.
Moms usually put their children first.
But for the next five minutes, let’s focus on you.
Sit down. Take a break. Brew a cup of coffee or tea. Let’s make sure you have some tools for support at your fingertips.
Okay, I know, there are likely dirty dishes piled up. And mountains of laundry. There is probably a dog to walk and phone calls to return. That can wait for five minutes.
Take a moment to tune in to yourself. What are you doing to heal? Are you feeling some anxiety? Perhaps you’re feeling a bit blue or disconnected from everything? What are you doing for you?
During this period, which is different for everyone, take care of you. Your little one needs you, of course, but don’t forget to take time for yourself and address your needs as well.
Here are my top tips for new mom self-care:
- If you were seeing a therapist before having a baby, make time to continue those appointments or start seeing one if you could use the extra support. A therapist can help you maintain your mental health and provide an objective ear.
- Be sure to go for your follow-up doctor appointments. I know it’s hard to fit these in after delivering, but they are so important in making sure your healing is on track.
- Exercise can help you feel better, physically and mentally. It’s best to check with your doctor before starting an exercise program. (Be sure to ramp up slowly.)
- Were you an avid bookworm before having a baby? You may be struggling now to find time to sit down and read a book. Try an audiobook instead — queue up some of your favorite reads to listen to while rocking your little one.
- Physically, you need time to heal, and it may be uncomfortable. It can help to have the following soothing items on hand:
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- Tucks pads
- Dermoplast spray
- Comfortable underwear
- Postpartum cold pack/padsicle
- Pads and panty liners
- Peri bottle
- Mild, fragrance-free soap
- Wet wipes
- Disposable or reusable nipple pads
- Prenatal vitamins
- Stool softener
All the above items can be found at stores in your local area or online.
- Another great option is to hire a local postpartum doula. They can lend an ear, help with running the household, watch the baby, or provide other support for you that’s useful in this transition period. (By the way, did you know that you can also hire a night doula to watch your baby while you sleep?) Doulas are there for you, your little one, and your family to ensure a smooth transition and provide support after birth.
- Being alone is difficult. You’ll need extra mama support. Look into social groups at local community centers, libraries, or on social media (such as the Mother’s Day Magazine’s Facebook group).
- Make time to connect with your partner. Even if it’s just dinner at home, a movie (with popcorn, of course), or a five to ten-minute block of time you have with each other every day.
- Concerned about maternity leave and heading back to work? Discuss these concerns with your partner or support network, and figure out what fits best for your family. What works for some, doesn’t work for others.
- If you work from home, take the time off you need and work at your own pace. You’re in charge here. You know what’s best.
- When you’re a new mom, it can be hard to maintain healthy lifestyle habits. Just do your best. If you want that burger, have it. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting a burger. You’ll find your middle ground over time. In the meantime, it’s perfectly okay to treat yourself. (Remember to stay hydrated!)
- Do you have some friends who could lend a hand? Or a family member who would love to provide some support? Does your partner want to take the reins for a bit so you can get some extra sleep? Accept the help and let go of the guilt. I know, I know. You think you “should” be able to do this single-handedly right? But it takes a village, as they say, to raise a child.
At this point, you’ve likely run out of time. Your baby may be fussing, and it’s time to go. Before you do, remember:
You’re doing an amazing job, mama!
xo,
Alex