My mother first heard of Mother’s Day when she was at college in 1928. She sent her mother a card, who sent it back by return mail, saying it was a commercial holiday that should not be celebrated. It must have been a shock to my mother.
However, my mother held to the same view, expressed less harshly, while raising my sisters and me in the 1950s. She explained why we didn’t celebrate it but accepted graciously the things we made in school: ketchup bottles covered in paint converted to containers for sprinkling clothes before ironing, fired clay ashtrays (yes!), construction paper cards rife with ribbons, sequins, and Elmer’s Glue-All. But it was not a special day where we took over making Sunday dinner, much less brought her breakfast in bed.
I wonder whether my mother missed getting cards, calls and gifts after we all grew up and were scattered across the country. But she had trained us well, perhaps throwing the celebration out with the commercialism.
Toward the end of her life I learned the holiday itself was intended as an honor for mothers. President Woodrow Wilson made it official in 1914 as part of a wave of such days around the globe. It had, indeed, later been co-opted by Hallmark and the rest of the greeting card industry.
When she was in her 80’s, I made sure to phone my mother that day and sent donations in her honor to organizations that supported mothers in need. That she liked, both the donations and my calling her.
I never had her compunctions about being feted, though I don’t need elaborate gifts—just some mild celebratory fuss, plus not doing any household tasks that day.
My favorite Mother’s Day was when my daughter was barely five, not long after my husband/her father died. She awkwardly balanced a large tray with a tall bottle of seltzer, a small coffee yogurt, and a big box of Cheerios to my room. I sent her back to the kitchen for utensils and dishes and we feasted together on my bed.
That was a non-commercial celebration that my mother and my grandmother would have enjoyed taking part in. I loved it.
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