Author Kelley Holland on How to Change Your Money Mindset, Build Your Wealth, and Fund Your Future
While millions of women are primary or sole breadwinners, and women drive close to 80 percent of household purchasing decisions, we still have a hard time talking about money.
In fact, some 61 percent of women would rather talk about their own death than their finances!
Interestingly, this resistance often has almost as much to do with confidence as it does with financial knowledge. Fear and shame about finances keep many women stuck in their current financial state–struggling to save or living paycheck to paycheck, worried for their future.
In her new book, You Are Worthy, Kelley Holland helps women get past the mindset that doesn’t serve them financially, build the skills they need, and develop a plan to achieve their life goals.
Kelley is a writer and financial wellness coach who, through her firm Own Your Destiny®, has helped thousands of women become more confident and capable with money. Previously, she was an award-winning business and financial journalist with The New York Times, Business Week, and CNBC. Kelley holds a graduate business degree from the Yale School of Management, and she is a Chartered Financial Analyst as well as a member of the Governing Council of YaleWomen.
Mother’s Day Magazine talks to Kelley about how her new book helps moms change their money mindset, build their wealth, and fund their future:
What advice do you have for a busy mom who feels she doesn’t have the time—or the smarts—to manage her money?
You don’t have to take charge of your money all at once! Set a goal of getting your records and passwords organized and then schedule 20 or 30 minutes once a week to chip away at that task. Once you have everything organized, you can automate tasks like paying bills, adding to savings, and paying down high-cost debt to keep “management time” to a minimum.
Why should moms read your book? How is your approach different from other personal finance books for beginners?
You Are Worthy helps a reader build confidence in her ability to take charge of her money and put it to work, and then teaches her how to get all that done. She’ll learn how to budget and invest—and she will also develop confidence, clarity, and hope.
When it comes to empowering ourselves financially, why is it so important to start with our mindset? For example, articulating the story we tell ourselves about money and re-writing it?
In the course of researching this book, I interviewed over 100 women about their relationship to money. All but six told me they formed their ideas about money in childhood. That’s natural! But many women are still holding a child’s-eye view of themselves in relation to money. If we edit and update our money beliefs to reflect all our abilities and potential as adults, we feel more empowered to build money-management skills and make our money work for us.
What obstacles do moms face when trying to achieve financial security goals and other big life goals?
Moms are often faced with several obstacles that can keep them from achieving life goals. For moms who work outside the home, there is the gender pay gap: a recent study found that moms overall earn 74% of what men earn, and the gap is wider for moms of color. Moms also spend more time on caregiving—i.e., less time in the paid workforce—which adds to the earnings challenge.
What are some key building blocks of financial competence that moms may already have—but not realize they have?
Moms often develop key money-management skills without even noticing. For example, when a mom compares prices on different sizes of products like detergent, she is doing the same thing she would to evaluate fees on a mutual fund. When she encourages her kids to put effort into all their classes instead of just focusing on their favorite, it’s similar to creating a diversified assortment of investments.
Why is it important for moms to practice self-compassion when dealing with their finances?
Self-compassion relates to the way we talk to ourselves. Do you have an inner voice telling you you are irresponsible or stupid when it comes to money? Think about whether you would ever talk to a friend that way, and see if you can use the same tone with yourself. It’s like the Golden Rule in reverse! If moms can be kind to themselves when they are building money-management skills, the whole process is more enjoyable and empowering.
Can you explain what a “heartfelt goal” is and how it can motivate moms to get their financial house in order?
A “heartfelt goal” is a deeply personal one that comes from the heart. It’s not about job titles or a target amount of wealth. It’s about achieving deep inner satisfaction and fulfillment. When we can identify a goal that can give us that fulfillment, we have a reason to learn to manage our money so we can use it to help us succeed.
When is a good age to start teaching our children—especially our daughters—about personal finance? What are some ways to do it?
Money lessons can start very early! When children are small, this can be as simple as teaching them the value of coins and how they can be exchanged. Later, you can start giving an allowance, which will help you talk about spending vs. saving vs. sharing. And as soon as your child starts accumulating savings, you can help them open a bank account—ideally one where they can earn interest and learn about putting money to work.
Discussions about paying for college can start as early as ninth grade. That way you show your child that they’re part of the decision-making and planning, and they can make informed choices about where they apply to school.
What motivated you to write this book?
In my coaching practice and in my previous work as a journalist, I saw over and over again that women tend to have extra financial hurdles to overcome—sometimes around confidence, sometimes around things like the pay gap and sometimes both. With this book, I hope to encourage and empower women to take charge of a key tool for achieving their life goals.
Where can someone buy your book?
You Are Worthy is available everywhere books are sold. Also, proceeds from the book will support girls’ education in sub-Saharan Africa through CAMFED, the Campaign for Female Education. So moms can empower themselves AND a faraway girl!
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